Melinda is a college student who studies the best she can to do well on tests to maintain her scholarship. The pressure to maintain her Grade Point Average and study effectively causes her to have severe anxiety and panic attacks.

When I was 18 years old, I went to check the mailbox and saw a letter that read “Congratulations Joanne, you’ve been admitted into the centennial class of University of Davis”.  I was admitted into University of California, Davis. It was, at the time, one of the happiest days of my life. I gained admission into one of the premier universities of California. I was so ecstatic to gain admission into a 4-year university directly from High school. My Mom, a single parent, was extremely proud of me and thanked me for making all her sacrifices worthwhile. I started Davis in the Fall and was academically dismissed a year later. I went from pride to shame in a span of 12 months. I did not know what to do or how to tell my mother, I was totally crushed and confused.

When I look back in retrospect as to why I was dismissed, I realize I was not equipped for the academic rigor and maturity of Davis. I honestly did not know how to study effectively according to subject matter. I also lacked advanced time management skills and social skills. Davis was based on a quarter system which was only 12 weeks, which is very fast paced. I found myself struggling to understand the subject matter of my classes, study at a fast pace, figuring out my identity in a top-tier university and working to provide for myself. It was all too much.

The stress I experienced was overwhelming. I remember I will be in class and be totally checked out. It was hard to pay attention to the Professor, even when I tried to pay attention, I would immediately have sharp headaches. By the time I got home and tried to study the material, I would realize I did not grasp the subject matter and would proceed to teach myself the subject matter, which was not always effective and wasted a lot of my time. After about 3 months, my health deteriorated badly, in the span of 12 months, I fell sick with the following ailments: bronchitis, tonsillitis, migraine, upper respiratory infection, asthma and gastritis.

After my dismissal, I went back to my mother’s house and fell into a deep depression. At the time I did not know I was depressed, but I was exhibiting clinical symptoms of depression such as total loss of interest in doing anything, forgetfulness, fatigue, difficulty sleeping and extreme guilt. At the time I did not understand the dark thoughts and feelings I had, but I tried to reach out to a therapist. My mum discouraged me from seeking professional help because of the stigma surrounding mental health.

If I was Melinda, the first thing I would tell her is that it is completely okay to fail. Failure is an inevitable part of life, it’s not the end of the road, as a matter of fact, failure is a blessing in disguise. When you fail the first time, you learn what does not work and what does. If you persist and try again, you will succeed because you know exactly what to do. This positive view of failure does not come naturally, it takes therapy and positive self-reinforcement (Otto and Smits, 2011). We are emotional beings; hence we respond emotionally when things go wrong.

I would advise Melinda to seek professional help because she is young and does not have the maturity and skills to handle severe anxiety and the fear of failure. Anxiety and the fear of failure are classic symptoms of depression (Lam and Swinson, 2005). Clinical Depression is a serious mental illness. It negatively impacts how we feel, the way we think and how we act (Lam and Swinson, 2005). Clinical depression is sometimes mistaken for regular sadness but it’s not. It affects our mood, thoughts, behavior and eating habits (Otto and Smits,2011). It is not a condition that can be willed away or controlled by “pulling yourself together”. It is a condition that requires medical attention and psychiatric help. Untreated clinical depression can eventually lead suicide (Otto and Smits, 2011).

Before the beginning of every semester, I suggest every student evaluate themselves and find out if they are emotionally, mentally and physically prepared for school. School requires a lot from students and students must be realistic about their goals. If you know or feel you are not ready, then I strongly suggest taking the semester off to focus on your health and well-being. Also, it is important for students to understand that they more than just a letter grade. Yes, good grades are important, but who you are as a person is even more important and unique. If you have a scholarship to maintain, and you are not doing well that semester to keep up with the required GPA, I advise students to call and speak to the scholarship representatives and explain their challenges and why they need to keep the scholarship. In most cases, the representatives are willing to work with students to maintain the scholarship. Lastly, don’t start a semester with the goal of just getting good grades. Instead set goals that make you want to learn the material with joy. Ask yourself how can I enjoy this class? A good way of doing this is by making a song or rhythm of the class material.

Works Cited

1. Lam, R., Michalak, E., & Swinson, R. (2005). Assessment scales in depression, mania, and anxiety (Assessment scales in psychiatry series). London: Taylor & Francis. (2005). Retrieved June 17, 2019, from Mt.San Antonio College.
2. Otto, M., & Smits, J. (2011). Exercise for mood and anxiety : Proven strategies for overcoming depression and enhancing well-being. New York, NY: Oxford University Press. (2011). Retrieved June 17, 2019, from Mt. San Antonio College.